Sorting out Teens

Often I am asked to 'sort out' a teenager by their parents. Being a parent can be a lonely and thankless task with often nowhere to go.  

You need to find a way of getting that young adult to emerge safely and intact. Especially in those heated inflamed moments when there are no winners.

As an adult, please remember, this is a passing phase. The relationship with your teen is in a state of transition.

Your teen is trying to learn how to be an adult. It's like trying to drive a car for the first time...there will be mistakes and everyone will get annoyed. Bad things can happen if not enough attention is paid.

This stage doesn't require you to get hot headed and emotional as well. Your teen can supply enough of that already.

Your teen is going from being told what to do towards trying to do it for themselves.

This is the “Breaking away” stage often known as the “Ugly” stage.

This stage requires cool heads with strong guidance. Your teens need a parent NOT a friend.

It is the role of a teenager to test the boundaries. 

Expect this and be prepared. They will be exceptionally good at it.

Be a leader. Be strong when you have to be. 

They don't need a friend...they need a Parent.

• DO NOT get drawn into teenage chaos and drama. Walk away where needed.
• Discuss expectations, boundaries and consequences. Be consistent but allow for adjustments. This is a two way street but you are the chairman of the board.
• Reward and feed good behaviour Starve bad behaviour.

And Parents...please agree...end of story.

I also urge you to be realistic. Having hygienic rooms is more important than super tidy rooms. It’s a realistic expectation.

Later on you will see the benefits of spending time with your kids. The first thing though is to spend time with your kids! That requires you to get your life in order to be able to do that.

I cannot stress this enough. This is one of the most important times in both of your lives. Be there for your kids. 

Get your life sorted out so you can do this.

When you both come out the other side you will have many times where you will stop in wonderment at the beautiful and significant child you have raised. You cannot purchase these moments. When they do come, you will wonder if life could get any better!